Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
