Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
