the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
