in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
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