Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
