Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
