Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
