it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
