there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
