What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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