Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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