Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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