My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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