I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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