i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
