You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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