But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
