what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
