he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
