So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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