Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
