hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
