Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
