that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
