You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
