I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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