btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Everclear isn't food dammit
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
