Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
