My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
