I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize