I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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