and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
