I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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