I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
