dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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