walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
