I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Randomize
