did you get engaged???
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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