I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
