i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
