Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize