We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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