You can't motorboat a personality
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
