my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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