Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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