She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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