Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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