i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
