She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
