i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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