$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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