Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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