Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
