Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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